Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
