i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize