I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i out mim tonsoeep
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