They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
