do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
