hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
