You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
