Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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