Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
