I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
