So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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