I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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