Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
