yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
