My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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