I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
