I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sorry about my life...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
