So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
