im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
