honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
