how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
