butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
