You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
