oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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