she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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