Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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