let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
