i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
