i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
