I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize