yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
