I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
tell me about the fingering
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