So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
