while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
