why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
