U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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