I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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