he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
