So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
