Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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