we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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