no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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