that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we're so committed to being not committed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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