We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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