Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Pants are for mortals
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
