Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
