So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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