Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
