I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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