I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
