Cold hands, warm shart.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
