Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
