they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
