I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Mom said you looked used
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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