Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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