Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
