I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize