I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
