yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize